the past couple of days has been quite a bit of trouble for me recently... my mom refused to believe how badly the rest of the J1s did and thinks that im the only one who did badly. so, im having to tolerate all her nonsense even though i did considerably well. hope this ends soon... all sorts of stupid things been happening recently... me being locked out of my room etc etc.
well, nth much happened today.. except for the class photoshoot and the return of maths papers. as expected, i failed!!! im actually rather happy to get back my math paper even though ive failed it.. failed quite miserably but still, its a load off my mind. despite the class photoshoot, my mood was still sian sian.. really getting bored. still holiday mood, after all terms has just ended and for the past 10 years of my life, the end of exams is usually followed by 1 month of slacking so u get what i mean dont u?
tmr is the weekend, and yet im not looking forward to it. i get to spend more time with my crazy mom.. dunno menopause or pms or something... i guess i have to blame my lack of a social life for that. all my plans for the weekend seemed to hav gone down the drain, was actually looking forward to catching pirates of the carribean this weekend, plan 1 failed.. plan 2 looks as though its going 2 fail as well. and since ive quit gaming, killing time has been quite hard since ive been slacking with regards with my work so i really aint got much to do. ive been reading up quite a bit on random quirky things but ive kinda run out of interesting materials already.
my emotions hav been rather topsy turvey the past few days too. the simplest of things seem to tick me off or brighten up my day. from disappointment to satisfaction and even relief, ive gotten quite confused with what im actually feeling. maybe i juz need someone by my side when the going gets though. i probably hav tooooo few "extremely close friends whom im willing to trust with my life". time has also seemed to separate me from such friends.. its becoming increaseingly hard to keep in contact with these ppl... a friend suggested a way to solve my problems.. as corny as this might sound, "love". is love really capable of putting a smile on a persons face even in the darkest of hours? is that unexplainable feeling really that miraculous? i know nothing much about love apart from familial love. even then, it seems to be breaking apart.. my dad is now overseas 50% of the time.. and my mom is driving me crazy as well. platonic love seems to be dissappearing bit by bit as well... i hang out a lot less with my close friends nowadays, we can no longer continue each others sentences or even simply laugh the way we used to...my only experience with love is "unrequited love" which is according to wikipedia "affection and desire not reciprocated or returned". unrequited love sux... i hate it.
"Being in unrequited love is torturous, but it can simultaneously be a source of great joy, sometimes providing the lover a sense of fulfillment for having somebody to love, even though that love is not returned. The lover may feel this satisfaction is worth the emotional distress they must suffer. They may prefer to stay in love rather than move on."
yes yes.. i am that bored that im reading such stuff... ive practically finished browsing several interestings sites with about 2 years of archieves in 2 weeks so im pulling out all the stops ive got to help me pass time. i got too much spare time on my hands... i know i know.. being in JC im supposed to be busy, oh well, sue me?
well lookie at the time! enough time has passed, time 2 go to bed. so gnight everyone
