Promos has started yesterday... kicking off with GP and econs. I guess it wasnt too bad.. i felt that both papers were not too difficult. However i am very bad at predicting my results, i always do badly for papers i thought were easy and do well in those i thought was hard. Then again im not aiming for much this time... Im just hoping to get the minimum 2H2 1H1... Maths n chem seem so impossible from where im standing... maybe i hav to aim for 1H1 2H2s instead..
Im stressing out... n some chain of events led me to turn a little emo yesterday night + today...was laying on my bed staring at the ceilings. I was on the verge of crying... but the tears just couldnt flow.. everything just kept piling up and i really couldnt take it anymore i just needed some time to sort things out. I took an early night.. hoping that a good night of rest would do the cham and i guess it did. Im feeling a whole lot better now.. but maths is still a killer... I cant seem to do any single mathematical induction question! Im going to head back to continue with my maths now, need to finish another 3 more tutorials by the end of today. I really dont know how im going to cope... im so far behind for my revisions.. I barely started biology.. only 1 chapter completed.
I know promos has just started.. but i already can see the light at the end of the tunnel... ive decided that im gonna start gaming again once the exams end. Since ive quit gaming ive had quite a number of emo-drama.. i guess i really need to keep my wacky head busy with games when i hav nothing much to do after the exams. The pain felt in the virtual world is nothing like that felt in reality.. so i think its safer if i stick to computer games =)
I hope everyone else is having a better time than me... I have never ever felt this unprepared for an examination... im really stressing out!
)x~
3:54 PM
{{ Monday, September 25, 2006
Argh!! Jonathan leong didnt win sg idol.. was supporting him =(. Anyway... i planned to finish studying my chemistry by yesterday...Then i suddenly realised that chem was the last paper of the exams and that maths was the 2nd! I have only finished 1 out of 16 tutorials for my maths so im like so dead! So i hav really no idea why im writing this instead of studying maths right now... or why i was even watching SGidol when i shud have been studying maths!
Today was rather unusual in the sense that i took the train home instead of taking the bus which i usually do. Coincidentally i met an old friend of mine from ACS(I) whom i havnt spoke to in ages. I dunno if u visit my blog here but if u do, *HELLO BAWANG*. Anyway... i think im gonna b sticking to bus.. i thought that it'd b faster to go home by train but apparently its only faster by abt 5 mins after taking the time it takes to walk to the train station from sch! Its also more comfortable to sleep on the bus since its less noisy n my sleep wont get disrupted since the ride is almost an hr long.
Studying drains the life out of me... studied for 45 mins and now im so tired already. kk.. going 2 sleep... GNITE!
)x~
9:34 PM
{{ Thursday, September 21, 2006
going to school everyday, i really dont know what to say. lectures are so hard to understand, i never understood what the lecturer meant.
even in tutorial classes, sitting there looking through my glasses, as the teacher goes through the worksheets, all i can say to myself is, shit. i have no idea what she said, cuz i feel like i just got out of bed. blindly copying everything on the board, maybe thats why i feel so bored.
all i can look forward to is recess, im sure everyone agrees that its the best. but not around exam periods, cuz everyone seems so serious, studying twenty four-seven. even if studying meant going to heaven, i dont think i can change.
u might think im in a closet, but this computer cant fit in it. so, unless u are so stupid, no! im not in a closet. im sitting here infront of my table, writing this instead of trying to make the grade.
with all this said, i think i shud go to bed. im just procrastinating, cuz i really hate studying.
~)x~
)x~
8:39 PM
{{ Saturday, September 16, 2006
Today i was supposed to go to my relatives house for some function.. dunno whos baby 1 mth old. I really didnt feel like going.. my parents tried to persuade me to go saying that i havnt met those particular relatives since i was like 4 or 5. But its not as if im some kind of freak show, im just a normal human with a pair of eyes n ears, a nose n a mouth, i look just like a normal human being!! So what if they dont see me? They havnt seen me in 11-12 years and i highly doubt that they missed me at all so why shud i go?! Anyway i conveniently came down with a cold.. so i managed wo weasel my way out of it.
I was determined to seriously start mugging today but i ended up putting off my work once again. I took about 4 hrs worth of naps.. i read my notes for abt 40 mins... thats how tiring studying is!
Is it just me or does time seem to fly by really quickly? it only felt like terms was last week.. and yet now we find our promos just looming slightly ahead. This really sux.. we had our terms later compared to sec school and we are having promos earlier!! Ahh i hate this... i really aint in the mood 2 study..
Oh yea.. my parents are at it again.. last night my parents had a fight over a roll of double sided tape which my dad apparently forgot to bring home. So he drove all the way back to his office to pick it up cuz it was "good double sided tape" and the ones sold elsewhere are not as good. So while my dad was out my mom was complaining to me abt my dad... i really dun understand how sometimes i feel that im the mature one in de house and yet im so kuku as well...
Im just having a rough 2 days.. i havnt had much appetite, falling ill... n my stupid aircon broke down. Cannot sleep properly at night! Bah i guess i shud go 2 bed now since im a little sick... gnite.
)x~
10:27 PM
{{ Saturday, September 09, 2006
Time is ticking away second by second.. whether or not i spend it wisely, time doesnt wait for me. I really feel as if ive wasted away the past week of my life... didnt do much interesting things perhaps apart from that ice skating trip.
With so much time on my hands, i began to do weird stuff... like laying in bed staring at the ceilings... walking aimlessly around my housing estate.. To sum things up, i did everything apart from studying. I know i should really start studying but i really havnt got the mood for that. Ive promised myself that i would start studying the very day school reopens but im quite sure that it is going to be a promise to myself that i wont be able to keep.
I spent a large part of my holiday re-watching movies... re-playing games...and while doing those, i recalled some memorable things. I thought of the ppl i watched those movies with.. the ppl i played those games with. Most of these people whom ive already lost contact with. I guess i have to blame myself for that, i havnt exactly been trying hard enough to remain in contact with them. So, its been kind of depressing... even listening to songs havnt been able to cheer me up. It reminded me of the people who introduced the songs to me... some of whom i havnt spoken to in years.
Well.. its either the "boringness" of the holidays or the fact that ive been listening to "Memory - Sugarcult" too many times... (cuz its one of my fav songs) that has got me into this "remembering mood".
This may never start. We could fall apart. And I'd be your memory. Lost your sense of fear. Feelings insincere. Can I be your memory?
Memory~Sugarcult
Quite dissappointingly, i havnt managed to catch as many movies this week as i hoped to catch. So.. if anyone still got a movie that they missed and wanna catch it, u know who to look for =P Oh well... Enjoy the final few moments of this term break everyone.. study hard for the promos!
)x~
5:35 PM
{{ Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Half of the term vacation has passed and yet i still feel as if i have not accomplished anything at all this holiday. To top things off, i think im addicted to gaming once again... my boredom drove me to it... after all, contrary to popular belief, I HAVENT BEEN MUGGING! Quite dissappointed actually... didnt go out half as much as i would have liked to.
Oh ya, today is Wilsons bday! HAPPY BDAY WILSON! Look so funny in that mickymouse-santa hat lol. Had to go back to school today for GP timed essay assignment... i think im gonna fail..all my paragraphs are soooo short! Then i had to head down to MCYC for interact... quite fun actually. Helped to brighten up my otherwise dull and boring day.
As i was travelling to school earlier today on bus 74, my sec school teacher boarded the bus. I dont think he recognised me... i didnt say hi to him either, although i really wanted to. But i was afraid that he might not recognise me... ok ok.. i probably wasnt the "recognisable" sort of student... very quiet and "guai"...ok fine.. "guai" around teachers. He was a teacher that i really respected, my sec 4 bio teacher.. Mr See. My sec 4 class was rather rowdy... and the class was always in a huge mess. However before his lesson, we would always take the effort to clean the class up.. button up our collars (something he was extremely particular about). He was very strict.. and yet he knew how to joke around. Anyway, to sum it up, hes the best teacher in my eyes.
Anyway here i am now, trying to find some ppl to go out tmr.. i dont want 2 b bored 2 death!! Wish me luck!
)x~
8:08 PM
{{ Friday, September 01, 2006
I had the scariest of dreams last night! It began something like this... I was being chased around by armed men... dodging bullets and running around corners den all of the sudden i get hit in the head. The armed men blindfolded me.. bound my arms and legs, den carried me into the trunk of their car. Several moments later I was freed... they removed my blindfold and i found myself on the highest level of a multi story carpark. I was surrounded by about 5-6 men... den one of them, whom I suppose is the leader started speaking to me in some weird language...he den pointed a revolver to my head and BANG! i was so shocked that i fell off my bed... now I got a bump on my head.
The term break has finally arrived... and yet somehow its rather bitter sweet. i dont intend to study much during this break.. so i have quite a lot of time on my hands since ive quit gaming as well...Hence, i spent much of my day lazing around. However, i have managed to adhere to a promise that i made to myself during the past couple of days, to train for my 2.4km every day! I guess with the extra time on my hands, i really cant find any excuses for myself . Anyway.. if anyone wants to go have some fun, dont forget to ask me along!!! im getting bored to my death.. i never thought that i'd dread holidays so much
Oh yea, yesterday was the Teachers' Day celebrations. I felt rather guilty for not having any gifts... In my sec school.. most ppl dont give gifts to teachers even during teachers day, so i didnt really think much about it at first. I eventually realised that the majority of my class had gifts for the teachers... and yea, after school we were standing outside the staff room where people were anxiously trying to find their teachers to pass them their gifts. Most of them had heaps of gifts in their hands. i stood amongst these people, and it suddenly hit me. The guilt hit me...maybe thats y i had the nightmare... the bullet representing the guilt..
